Category Archives: Recent Work

This is For

This is for all you fools

Who choose to stay alive

And blithely say the world

Is better before you die.

 

This is for existence;

It was never worth the time

To believe and feel the hurt

As reality falls behind.

 

This is for my heartbreak,

The one that cuts like knives

Not of men; the lurid creature,

But because I’m still alive.

 

This is for my thoughts

And the cuts I pierce on skin,

My aching woes, my worst disease;

The allegory of my sins.

 

And this is for the people,

The ones I will leave behind,

I had myself, I had my heart,

But the light I couldn’t find.

 

So move on without me,

As I know you will

Because time heals, to be no more

My aching blood is still.

The Trial

 

‘In pain!’ the master lawyer shouts, ‘In pain you must not jest,

To leave me with the all before and longing of the best!’

He stamps his plump feet along, upon the wooden floor,

And reels off a list of nine; the sins I have adored.

‘You pushed a knife right through her chest, you hurt her, dead I say!

You bundled body, you bundled more; you threw her life away!’

And with this, the look of disgust flies across his face

And passes on the jury gone, in their only place.

‘Do you know what you have done?’ he asks with all implore,

‘Befouling and committing murder.’

What careful guilt I bore,

As gavel rests in judge’s hand and jury look in spite

Upon my figure, cowering hence who knew not wrong from right.

‘I know’ I say, in all endure, my voice distinctly low.

I know what I have done,’ I say, ‘I know where I must go.’

With these uneasy words, a thousand eyes then fall

Upon my guilty figure there, cowering by the wall.

The lawyer, then he turns around to see his wistful crowd,

So eager for me put to hell; only then will they be proud.

For I have done what others only dream they can achieve.

Imagine up in careful nightmares of stories I believe.

And the master lawyer, then he settles there.

The jury is beneath his thumb; breathes them like they’re air.

He knows of course that he is all, he knows that he has won;

Receives a healthy sum of money for all that I have done.

And the jury wait with baited breaths, thinking in their minds

How I am not a human more, no member of their kind.

And as for that, their only notion, I’m afraid I must agree

As cameras flash all over me, adhering to my plea.

Because I lost myself one aching night, when hatred ruptured me;

Consigned myself within my mind to not again be free.

Not live without my actions tarnished, not sleep through all the night,

Forever carry consequence of my ill-intended smite.

The master lawyer smiles then as I am put away;

Left for only darkness gone; rot, rot and decay.

His fat cheeks adhere the evil, spread it through my veins,

Boil my blood in harsh regret as I am locked in chains.

Why is it Winter Still?

Why is it winter still,

With the thrashing wind and slaving chill?

The splashing water beating panes,

My tears falling whilst it rains.

 

Why does this winter enslave the Earth?

Capture, hold it, demean its worth,

And steal the beauty of what once was

With icy breeze and chilling frost.

 

Why is my heart as cold as snow?

The swirling, drifting, cantankerous flow

Of fleeting white and beating flecks,

Flames of blue with thawing wrecks.

 

And why, even as winters pass,

And spring flowers return with gasp

And sunlight beams above the grass,

The winter inside, it still lasts?

A Cut

Stasis in Darkness

The blood leaked from my hand in threes;

Into a pool it tapped and drank,

Much better than those stormy seas

Where ships sailed and gladly sank.

Bleeding all my woe in tomes

And beauty in the red of rose,

Where my battered spirit roams

And all my pain succinctly goes.

Burn on you blasted cut of mine,

Sting me with your fiercest blow;

Because I am the master of my time;

My skin will heal, knit and grow.

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Glass Heart

Stasis in Darkness

The blood runs through my veins so slow,

It decays and rots my heart,

My head is faltering too, so dead;

And I cannot think of words.

Yet I write – oh I must, I know!

If I didn’t, I would break,

And then the words would spill from my body

And scatter upon the floor.

My last release in this world,

Since running cannot cut it.

And I wish to find some solace in this,

But I’m not sure if it works.

It still hurts.

Does that mean I felt it,

Because it still hurts?

Yet my mind feels shattered;

I cannot think,

Slow, slow my thoughts sluggishly go.

My heart is broken, ruptured like glass,

Melting as icicles to the ground.

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My Broken Sleep

Stasis in Darkness

I arose from the echoless deep,

The remnants of my broken sleep,

With rattling winds invading mind

As I left my dreams behind.

In that darkened morning still

I wondered at what was real,

As I blinked at the world I spurned

And once again had sad returned.

The ghostly hand had gripped my soul,

Beaming bright in dark as coal,

And reeled me up from the black

Giving me my body back.

I felt ashamed that I might exist

In this world so full of mist

And where reasons that were still unknown

Could slaughter, cut me, shatter bone.

My conscious faded once or twice

As I awoke to the world of ice,

But yet I teetered on the edge of sleep,

Sinking back into the deep.

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Shards of Flesh

Stasis in Darkness

You shattered me.

A million pieces I lay, broken and beaten;

As if you had had your time

And found me unworthy

To live among these splendid beings.

My patience is run, my battle fought,

And gravely do I now grasp at wounds;

Pick at scabs and echoing blows.

Fresh claws and talons formed those scars,

The ones that lie amongst my soul;

They tore away my fleshy heart –

The muscle so long had lain dormant and cold.

And yet you leaked the warm blood from it as it was beating,

The very life you stimulated.

You flew as crows on misty commons;

Far from my battered form.

And you thought that I did not love you,

But you were wrong.

I loved you this deep all along.

I have lain awake in the dead of night,

And caressed the sunset, you at side.

But it has gone now.

You…

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